I feel truly sad.
Not a "holding back tears' sad, but more like finding out a childhood friend you haven't seen in years has died. I'm having a quiet sadness. The sadness that come from the familiarity of him being around me my entire life.
I watched The Jacksons cartoon when I was little.
I grew up with the Rock With You Michael Jackson in middle school.
Jammed to the Thriller Michael Jackson in high school.
I stayed up hoping to God Beat It or Billie Jean came on Friday Night Videos (this was way before we had MTV or cable. Old heads know about those dark Ages!)
This happened too fucking fast!!!!
There is no other way of saying it. He was supposed to age gracefully like James Brown, maybe even pop up a few more times on award shows or give some interviews for all the young people who imitate, are influenced by, and wanna-bees some advice like Quincy Jones.
Instead he's gone, just like that.
It doesn't help that I haven't seen him recently, except when something crazy happens, or that he hasn't put on any new music in some years. I would think that being out of the spotlight, you would just say "Oh damn, he died. Thats a shame" and keep on eating your corn flakes, but Michael Jackson is bigger than that. Too big to be completely forgotten or erased. Despite all the good/bad media coverage and all of the crazy stunts he's pulled (or had pulled on him) it never effected the way I felt when I heard his songs. And I hear his music all the time; because of the great DJ's I listen to, Mike is NEVER out of the rotation, never too far away.
I guess we always take the ones we love for granted. Only now after his death, after listening to all the songs I hear when I go party do I realize
1. how long he has been making the music I love
2. How many hits he has!!
3. How his music still makes me feel, whether it was 1983, 1993, or 2003
4. We will never hear anything new or influenced by him.
What I mean by that is, what kind of music would you make if you could spend time with Michael in the studio? Imagine what you would learn. Imagine being able to call up Michael Jackson and say "Hey, listen to this song, track, or beat I made" and Michael saying "Its good, but change this/that. Add this, add that" imagine the final product of your collaboration
Todays producers, singers, songwriters have really lost out. They had a chance to learn from the Master, like Kobe learned from Jordan before he retired. I'm sure we'll hear some of Will.am I's produced tracks from the unfinished album, but thats all folks.